A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there’s an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.
The man says, “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”
The guy replies, “Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”
The man says back, “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?”
The guy says, “No. They’re all at the funeral.”
A Wife Decides To Take Her Husband To A Strip Club
A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”
His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.
“Oh no,” says Dave. “Hes on my bowling team.”
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if hed like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,”How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”
“Shes in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”
Daves wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.